nsync in black and white

Disclaimer: this is fiction. We made it up.

days go by

by roz, written for kid sinclair

April 24, 2003

It was quiet except for the tiny raindrops splattering across the window, the ticking of the clock and the sound of sloppy, wet kisses being placed haphazardly down his neck. He moaned when his partner took a nipple into his mouth, tugging at it through the thin cotton of his shirt. Grabbing him by the curls, he brought their mouths back together hungrily.

Justin sighed. There was nothing like spending a lazy afternoon making out with JC. Nothing could compare to being fully entwined from head to toe – their fingers ran through each other’s hair, their lips sought each other greedily, their hips arched against one another to create a delicious friction, and their feet intertwined, toes curling at the sensations and noises they were eliciting.

A bolt of lightning lit up the room, but Justin didn’t notice. His eyes were shut in pleasure because, good Lord, JC’s fingers were working on unzipping his fly.

A loud clap of thunder made the entire house tremble, and Justin jerked upright.

He opened his eyes and looked ahead, but he was lying in his bed and JC was gone.

Justin was left alone and aroused, again. As he slid his hand down his belly and under the sheets, he tried to convince himself that the wetness on his face was only sweat.


One year, four days ago

Despite his attempts to stop them, the tears welled up in his eyes.

“Justin. Don’t,” JC said, clearly frustrated.

“Why not, JC? I have every right to. You just told me that we’re not ready to be together, and that’s a bunch of shit. Do you know how bad I want this, Jace? Do you?”

“I don’t think you know what you’re talking about, Justin.”

“Bullshit! I want us to be together, JC. I love you. I always have.”

JC shook his head. “It’s not what you think it is. You’re lonely. You miss Britney. You’re nervous about going out there on your own. What we have is . . . comfortable, but it’s not enough. You just need to focus on yourself right now, man. Where you’re at, making your record, mending your heart.”

“I can do both, JC. Why can’t you see that I love you?”

“You don’t love me like that.”

“I do!” These last words Justin screamed desperately, and the tears streamed down his cheeks. “I do! I do! I do! I do!”

“Justin, I can’t do this right now. Not when you’re like this. We can still be friends, brothers, but nothing more, okay?” He didn’t give Justin a chance to respond. JC looked back at Justin one last time before walking out the door.

Justin just stood there, frozen, his heart racing. He wondered if this was all a dream. A sick, twisted dream.


Fifteen days later

Was he dreaming? Was JC really following him down the hall to his hotel room in Virginia Beach? Had he really travelled there to see how his album was coming? Was he really standing behind him as he reached the door, close enough that his breath tickled the hairs on the back of his neck?

Justin nearly jumped out of his skin when, as he fumbled with the key, JC leaned in and licked up his neck to the shell of his ear.


He barely had a second to think once they were inside before JC had him pushed up against the door, their lips connected in a heated kiss.

“Oh, God.” Justin moaned as JC’s fingers found the hem of his t-shirt and lifted it up. Seeing JC so eager like this always turned him on.

“Bed,” JC said as he worked on removing the rest of Justin’s clothing.

They lost all of their clothing in the next couple of minutes, and JC licked his way down Justin’s body to his cock. He took the head into his mouth as his fingers continued their downward journey. Somehow, JC had managed to lube them up, and he was teasing Justin’s entrance as he licked and kissed his erection.

“Oh,” Justin moaned.

“So hot, baby. Wanna be in you so bad,” JC whispered around Justin’s cock. He slowly slid one finger in.

A few moments (and a few fingers) later, Justin was ready, practically begging for JC. JC pulled his fingers out and let Justin’s cock slide out of his mouth before moving into position. Once he was in, he reached between them and Justin saw stars as they started to move together.

Soon, JC was collapsed on top of him in a sweaty heap. Justin didn’t mind that the bed smelled like sex. All that mattered was that JC was there. And he was so, so tired. In fact, sleep sounded like an excellent idea . . .


Six months, twenty three days later

He stifled a yawn as he walked down the carpet, smiling at the flashbulbs going off before him. Was it bad that he was exhausted the night of his album release? Probably. But it was worth it. Justin had been up all of the previous night on the phone with JC. The older man had sounded so excited for him. He hadn’t been sure if he could make it to the release party or not, but Justin was pretty sure he’d seen him earlier that evening talking to Chris. He couldn’t wait until he could get him alone for a moment. JC had promised Justin a very special album-release gift. Of course Justin knew what it was, but that didn’t make the idea any less hot.

Later that evening as JC got up off his knees, wiped his mouth and tucked Justin back into his pants, he told Justin how proud he was of him.

“You’ve come really far, J. Congrats.”

“Thanks,” Justin managed to get out once he’d caught his breath. “Told you I could handle it.”

JC immediately tensed up at Justin’s words. “Justin. Don’t. Not tonight.”

Justin would have let it slide, it was the night of his album release after all, but something in the way JC said it made him ask, “Why not, JC? When is there a better time? When we’re a thousand miles away having phone sex, or when we’re laid out on the bed after an evening of fucking? I see no better time than now.”

“Justin. Shut up. Someone will hear you,” JC said through gritted teeth.

“You know what, JC? I don’t think I even care anymore. Let them hear. Let them hear how you refuse to acknowledge what’s right in front of you: a great relationship. We could be something, C.”

“We are something, Justin.”

Justin sighed, running a hand through his hair. “It’s not enough, JC. I can’t keep doing this with you.”

“You’ve never complained before. Not when I’m jacking you off, or fucking you, or letting you ride me, or blowing you. I’ve never heard you complain one bit.”

“Because I thought that it meant something to you, too, C! All these times we’ve been together without really being together, I’ve always hoped that you’d wake up and say, ‘Damn, why am I doing this?’”

JC’s eyes narrowed into angry slits. “Then why are we doing this? If you can’t take what I’m willing to give, then maybe I shouldn’t waste my time on you. I came here to congratulate you tonight. But you had to ask for something more than that. Now see what it gets you.” With that, JC turned and stalked out of the bathroom.

Justin wondered if this was déjà vu.


May 7, 2003

He could have sworn that this had happened before. That JC had showed up at his hotel room unexpectedly, presumably to “check in” on him. Only this couldn’t be déjà vu because JC did something he’d never done before: he said “I’m sorry” right when Justin opened up the door and let him in.

“Um. Thanks. I think. What’re you sorry for?” Justin asked as he motioned JC into the living room area of his suite, gesturing for him to have a seat.

JC let out a deep sigh, and Justin knew he was in for a long-winded explanation of exactly what JC was apologizing for, complete with hand gestures and emotional outbursts.

But the motions and interjections never came.

“I’m sorry for stringing you along all this time.”

Justin felt his heart shatter into tiny pieces.

“Boy, did that come out wrong,” JC said. “What I meant was, I’m sorry for letting you think we could be more than just friends.”

A million tiny pieces.

“Wait, no. I mean, sorry for being an ass, first of all. And not just at your record party. For all of the times I’ve treated you wrong. And for not considering your feelings. I’m sorry for turning us into friends with benefits. And I – ”

“Okay, okay, you’re sorry,” Justin said, his voice breaking as he trailed off. “But why?”

“Why what? Why am I sorry?”

“No. Why have you been doing this to me for all this time? Letting me go to sleep at night praying that one day you’d see me as more than just your best friend and sometimes fuck buddy?”

JC frowned. “When did I say that?”

“You just apologized for – ”

This time JC cut Justin off. “Dude,” he said with a laugh. “That’s so not what I meant. You didn’t let me get to my point. What I wanted to say is that I’m sorry for doing all of that. And I don’t want to do it anymore. It’s not right.”

“I get that, C.”

“And I want to give us a chance.”

At first, Justin was sure he had heard JC wrong.


“I want us to be together, Justin. I – ”

This time he was cut off by a lapful of Justin, who had planted his lips firmly on JC’s. He kissed the older man passionately, and JC responded almost immediately. When they pulled apart, JC reached up to tenderly wipe away the tears spilling out of Justin’s eyes.

If this was a dream, Justin never wanted to wake up.


Twenty eight days later

He fought to keep the last wisps of sleep as a voice tickled his ear.

“Justin. It’s time to get up, sleepyhead.”

“Don’t wanna,” he mumbled, shoving his head under his pillow.

“I know you don’t want to, but you’ve got to get up now. You’ve got soundcheck in an hour.”

Justin sighed. Decisions, decisions. Should he get up and get ready to perform for thousands of adoring fans, or should he stay in bed curled up against JC’s naked body for the rest of the day?

Fortunately, JC made the decision for him. He yanked the sheets from their bodies, smacked Justin on the ass, and said, “I’m gonna get the shower going. I want you in there with me in the next thirty seconds. Or else.”

Justin made it under the spray by the time JC reached fifteen. They didn’t do anything but wash each other. Anything more and Justin definitely would not be in any state to perform on stage. He ignored his arousal as best he could with JC’s soapy hands trailing down his body.

It was difficult, but an hour later they were on their way to the venue for what was to be the first stop on the Justified and Stripped tour.

“You nervous, J?” JC asked Justin, who had his head against JC’s shoulder.

“Little bit.”

“Don’t be nervous, baby. I’ll be watching you shake that sexy ass of yours the entire time.”

“That’s what I’m nervous about.”

“Me? I make you nervous?”

“Not just you. Everybody. It’s like, ever since I started this whole solo gig, all eyes have been on me. I can’t screw this up. I guess part of me expected it, but part of me didn’t realize how hard it was going to be.”

“J, baby.” JC turned Justin’s head so that they were facing one another. “You. Will. Be. Just. Fine,” he said, punctuating each word with a quick kiss. “Just get up on stage and do your thing.” He then lowered his voice so only Justin could hear. “And afterwards, we can make love until the sun comes up. Would you like that, J?”

Justin flushed, gulped, and nodded his head quickly. Yeah, that wouldn’t be too bad. He could do this.


Six months, one day later

Justin moaned as JC freed his erection from his pants and slid to his knees before him.

“Jace. Can’t.” He groaned. “You’ve got your – oh God – show.”

JC licked around the head of Justin’s cock, slick with pre-come. “Not for another hour. Don’t worry.”

Justin banged his head against the armrest of the couch he was sprawled across as JC took him into his warm, wet mouth, deeper and deeper. JC was so good at this. He released Justin’s erection after suctioning it into his mouth, and Justin shivered as the cool air hit his impossibly warm skin. JC fondled his balls, licking a stripe across them and up the length of his cock before enveloping it in his warmth once again.

“Jace. Soon.”

Instead of pulling back, JC took Justin further into his mouth until he hit the back of his throat. The sensation of the head of his cock being worked by JC’s throat was too much for Justin. With a cry he arched his back and came into JC’s awaiting mouth.

When the stars had faded from behind Justin’s eyelids, he made a move for the fly on JC’s pants, distended from his own erection. But JC slipped out of Justin’s grasp.

“Later,” he whispered, kissing Justin so that he could taste himself on his lips. With that, he got up and started preparing himself a cup of tea.

That night, Justin watched from the shadows in the back of the club as JC performed for the crowd, clearly aroused. The audience was obviously enjoying the sexed-up show they were being given, but Justin wasn’t jealous. He knew that the object of their affection was his. All his.


One year, ten months, seventeen days later

“This has been a dream of mine since I was a little boy growing up on the streets of Millington,” Justin said, holding back the tears that threatened to fall. “I can’t thank you enough for giving me this honor. It means more to me than words can describe. Thank you.”

The audience clapped as Justin held up his award one last time and walked off the stage, back to Cameron, back to his parents, back to JC. Justin had insisted that JC attend the Recording Academy Honors, and who was JC to say no? Of course, they had to arrange for Justin’s beard to be there as well, but JC liked Cameron so it wasn’t really a big deal. Besides, she was going back to a hotel once the evening was over.

But hours later JC found himself in Justin’s childhood bedroom watching his boyfriend get undressed in front of him.

“You did so good tonight, baby. I’m so proud of you,” JC said.

Justin’s heart swelled with pride. JC called him baby. “Thanks. You did good, too.”

“Me? I didn’t do anything!”

“Yeah, but you looked damn fine not doing anything.”


“Yeah?” Justin asked, wearing just his boxers and peering around from hanging up his suit in the closet.

“If you were any cheesier I’d . . .”

“Eat me up?”

“No. I mean, yes. I do want to eat you up. But not because you’re cheesy. Because you’re mine. All mine!” This last sentence he said with an evil tone as he grabbed Justin by the waist and pulled him down onto the bed for a kiss.

And of course one kiss turned into two. And two turned into three. And before they knew it Justin’s suit was long forgotten and JC was asking breathlessly, “Is the door locked?”

“Yeah,” Justin gasped as JC’s mouth found that sensitive spot on the side of his neck. “Oh, Jace. I want you so bad,” he moaned.

“Gotta be quiet babe,” JC said, helping Justin’s fumbling fingers undo the buttons on his shirt. “Don’t want Mama Harless knocking on the door.”

Justin frowned. “Way to kill the mood.”

JC smirked. “I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you.” With that, he reached for the waistband of Justin’s boxers, near the clearly straining bulge that signalled Justin’s excitement.

“Oh,” Justin moaned as JC pulled off his last item of clothing. “Not fair. Want you naked, now.” He managed to pull away from JC’s touch long enough to strip him as well.

When they were both undressed, JC pulled Justin back down onto the bed. Both men groaned as their erections slid against one another. Their lips met over and over again in furious caresses. JC flipped them over so that he was on top and took his time meandering down Justin’s body. He bit down on Justin’s nipples and then soothed them with his tongue. Justin writhed beneath him, trying to avoid and arch into JC’s touch at the same time. JC’s fingers tickled Justin’s side before reaching down to cup his ass in his hands. Justin arched up, his cock pushing insistently against JC.

“Easy, babe,” JC said. He continued to bathe Justin’s body in kisses, making his way towards his destination. When he reached it, JC glanced up at Justin, opening his mouth to make some humorous comment on Justin’s obvious arousal. But the way Justin was laying there, eyes squinched shut, wet lips silently mouthing “Oh, oh, oh,” over and over again, he had to stifle his own moan. Turned on Justin was so hot.

So instead he sat back up, putting his head near Justin’s. “Justin.”

Justin opened one eye and looked towards JC.

JC smiled. “I love you.”

Justin’s other eye flew wide open. Did JC just say what he thought he just said? Did JC just say that he loved him? Had JC finally just said the words he yearned to hear for so long? For the second time that night, Justin found himself fighting away tears.

“I love you too,” he choked out.

Realizing that the situation had gotten far too serious for his taste, JC said, “Well, now that we’ve gotten that cleared up . . .” retreated down Justin’s body and took the head of his cock into his mouth.

This time Justin moaned out loud and had to stifle his noises with his fist. JC licked and sucked on his cock, taking the throbbing heat into the warmth of his mouth as far as it could comfortably go. He stroked the base and Justin’s testicles, using his other hand to keep Justin anchored to the bed. His own erection throbbed against Justin’s leg, and he grinded down, just a little, to take away some of the pressure.

Justin entwined his fingers in JC’s curls. “Jace, stop,” he gasped out. “Wanna . . .” he gulped. And then he said quietly, “Wanna be inside you.”

JC almost came right then and there. He hadn’t bottomed since . . . well, since he got together with Justin. He eagerly flipped them over and let Justin take control, let Justin reach into his nightstand for lube and a condom. JC bit his lip when Justin’s fingers circled his entrance, and he moaned when first one finger, then two found their way inside of him. And when those long fingers brushed up against that magical spot inside him, he felt drops of pre-come gather on the head of his cock. Justin leaned down to lick them away and now it was JC’s turn to gasp out nearly incoherently.

“Oh, please. Baby, I want you in me.”

“You sure baby?” Justin whispered with a grin, leaning up to give him a soft kiss.

“Yes,” he said as Justin’s teasing fingers continued to torture him. Finally they pulled out and JC heard Justin open the condom and sigh as he put it on. JC opened his eyes long enough to see him stroke himself once, twice, before repositioning himself at JC’s entrance.

Justin pushed in slowly for both his sake and JC’s. Oh God. JC was tight, his muscles clenching around Justin, and this was not going to last long at all.

Slowly he pulled out and pushed back in until the sensation was too much for him. At JC’s insistence he picked up the pace, moving in and out in quick thrusts and reaching between them for JC’s erection, swatting away JC’s fingers. JC nearly groaned at the sensation of Justin stimulating him in so many places. His neck tingled from the wet kisses and gentle bites Justin had placed along it, his mouth bruised from Justin’s lips, his cock throbbed as Justin stroked it in rhythm with his thrusts, and his whole body shook as Justin hit his spot over and over again.

“Oh,” Justin moaned, and JC knew he was close. His own orgasm was only moments away. Justin slowed his thrusts in an attempt to prolong the pleasure, but his efforts were futile. His body was already too far gone. With one last groan and a final thrust, he froze above JC as his body shook with the force of his orgasm.

JC waited as patiently as he could, whimpering when Justin collapsed on top of him, squishing his erection between them. Justin sat up and slowly pulled out, rolling out of bed to throw the condom away. When he returned, he wasted no time in making his way down JC’s body to his swollen cock. He took as much of it into his mouth as he could manage, giving JC some leeway to thrust up slightly. JC bucked up once, twice, three times, and bit his lip so hard he tasted blood as he filled Justin’s mouth with thick spurts of come.

Both men collapsed against one another on the bed, still trying to catch their breath.

“JC?” Justin managed a few moments later.


“I love you,” Justin said with a yawn.

JC smiled and pulled the covers up around them, not caring that the bed was damp with sweat and sex.

“I love you, too, J. I love you too.”

The room was filled with a comforting silence.


It was quiet except for the tiny raindrops splattering across the window, the ticking of the clock and the sound of sloppy, wet kisses being placed haphazardly down his neck. He moaned when his partner took a nipple into his mouth, tugging at it through the thin cotton of his shirt. Grabbing him by the curls, he brought their mouths back together hungrily.

Justin sighed. There was nothing like spending a lazy afternoon making out with JC. Nothing could compare to being fully entwined from head to toe – their fingers ran through each other’s hair, their lips sought each other greedily, their hips arched against one another to create a delicious friction, and their feet intertwined, toes curling at the sensations and noises they were eliciting.

A bolt of lightning lit up the room, but Justin didn’t notice. His eyes were shut in pleasure because, good Lord, JC’s fingers were working on unzipping his fly.

A loud clap of thunder made the entire house tremble, and Justin jerked upright.

“Don’t worry babe, I’ve got you,” JC said as he eased his hand into Justin’s pants.

Justin relaxed and arched into JC’s touch. Yes, JC had him. All of him.


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