nsync in black and white

Disclaimer: this is fiction. We made it up.

i don't love you anymore

by kelly, bonus story

Josh stared glumly out the rain splattered window. He had been sitting in the same leather chair since Madelyn had left 2 days prior. Consequently it had rained everyday since she had been gone. Josh didn't really think that he cared, actually the rain seemed to match his mood. In the 2 days that Maddie had been gone, it gave Josh a chance to close a particularly painful chapter in his life. From that day forward Justin was officially in his past. Justin in the role of friend, well maybe that relationship could be salvaged, maybe with a lot of beer, possibly some weed, and definitely with quite a bit of honesty.

As Josh sat there he thought about the day that Justin had walked out of his house for the last time. It was sunny that day and Josh held a crying toddler on his hip. That baby was the reason for Justin's leaving. Josh figured that he just couldn't take playing second best to someone, even if that someone still pooped in her pants. Looking at a picture of his darling little princess, Josh couldn't figure out why Justin, who he loved more than life, couldn't love the baby in the picture, who he also loved more than life. Ok, Josh will be the first to admit he had made a mistake sleeping with Lauren, but hell, it was only one time and he was drunk besides. Shit, there should be a rule that a drunken one night stand could not produce a baby. Even if that resulting baby was the most beautiful baby that JC had ever seen. That had been 2 years ago, one since Lauren had given Josh the child and never looked back.

The grandfather clock in the foyer chimed the hour, breaking Josh out of his reverie. He wiped the tears that were flowing silently down his face away and realized that he was hungry. On his way to the kitchen he passed another picture of his precious child with her curly hair and blue eyes. He decided that she, in fact, did look like him. Josh liked that, despite the fact that she had his nose, albeit a smaller, more dainty version.

Foraging through the kitchen cupboards proved futile. A can of Spaghetti O's and a single package of blueberry mini-muffins. The search of the refrigerator was just as bad. Three bottles of Corona, an outdated container of sour cream, and butter. Wow. At what point had he eaten everything in the house?

When he shut the 'fridge door, he noticed the calendar. Thursday the 14th. Tomorrow would be Friday the 15th. His parents were bringing his precious Madelyn home on Friday. He was glad, the house was too quiet without her jabbering, or Finding Nemo on an endless loop.

Josh decided the he would just have to take a run to the local Wal-Mart. Maddie would be downright pissed if she got home and she didn't have her 'O's'. Just thinking of his daughter brought a smile to Jc's face. He loved that little girl more than he ever thought was possible. Sighing, he grabbed his car keys off of the counter and took off out the door into the rain.


Humming, Josh wheeled his shopping buggy into the dairy section. As he turned the corner the front wheels hit something, and that something yelped. Jc looked up to see what he had hit and came blue eye to blue eye with non other than Justin Timberlake.

"Shit," Jc thought, " If I had known it was him, I would have hit him harder." Just the thought brought a slight chuckle from his lips.

Justin just frowned harder. " I'm glad that you're amused."

Jc did nothing but smile at his former lover. He couldn't help it. It was true that he didn't want him anymore, but to say that he didn't miss him would be a complete and total lie.

"Um, I'm glad to see you C." Justin sighed and studied his Converse sneakers closely. "I really hate not speaking to you. You were my best friend for years, I mean, and this is just stupid."

Jc looked at him. Justin did look sincere, but he was an actor . Josh just continued to stare at him.

"I don't love you anymore. You hurt me when you couldn't accept my child. I'll admit that I made a mistake, but Madelyn is not it. She may be a product of that mistake, but she is not the fucking mistake Justin." Jc was quiet proud of himself, he wasn't crying. Nor was he angry, everything was spoken matter of fact.

"When you left me, you left because Lauren gave her up. That meant that I couldn't drop everything at your whim anymore. God forbid that you're not the center of attention. I loved you and I thought that you loved me too." Josh just shook his head.

"I did, well do, love you C. With all of my heart." Tears were flowing down Justin's cheeks. He did love Josh and always would. The thought of a child, a baby, that they were responsible for just scared the shit out of him. He told Jc just that.

"You think that I wasn't scared? Fuck you Justin. I didn't know how to take care of a baby, but you know what? I fucking learned just like you could have done. We could have learned together. You were so self absorbed that you didn't want to share my attention. You were so used to me dropping everything when you wanted me too. It would have stopped and you knew that. So you decided to walk, and you know what, that is just fine. Me and Madelyn don't need you. I know when she gets in my bed it's just because she loves me and I make her feel safe. When you were in my bed it was for you to manipulate me in some way." Josh shook his head. "I want you to be happy, but I don't love you anymore. Madelyn is my life now."

Justin stood with his mouth open letting Josh's words resonate inside his head. He didn't quite understand, Josh had loved him for roughly forever. Now all of a sudden he didn't. Tears streamed silently down Justin's cheeks.

"I want us to be friends. When you left, my lover left, and my best friend left. I miss that. I miss us 'before'. We can work at our friendship again, we can be friends again, but I will never, ever be your bitch again. I don't love you anymore."
With these parting words, Josh wheeled around and walked away feeling better than he had in years. For once Justin was the one crying, the one wondering 'Why?'.

All Justin could do was stand there with Josh's final words reverberating through his mind.

"I don't love you anymore."


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