adam lambert looking dubious

Fiction by Pen . . . . . not real, made up, purely intended for entertainment

It could be a case of cheating

American Idol Season 8, or, more particularly, Adam Lambert

Just two days before the tour began, the ten of them were gathered before rehearsal for a meeting with someone from 19E. There was no time even to speculate what this might be about, the guy in the suit was ushered into the room, introduced himself as Maurice, cleared his throat and declared that there was a problem. "Apparently the Idol rules weren't specific enough to prevent this kind of thing."

"What kind of thing?" said Adam, speaking for them all.

"It appears one of you is not... human."

"Not human?" said Megan, microseconds before everyone else said it, too.

Maurice raised his hand. After a few more minutes he smacked it down on the nearest table, and there was silence.

"So, what now?" asked Matt.

"Well," Maurice began, but was interrupted.

"I'm sorry, I thought we were, uh, inclusive. I mean," Michael looked nervously in Adam's direction, "I came on board with some stupid ideas and I learned better. What's so wrong with being not-human?"

"It could be a case of cheating," Anoop suggested. "Using supernatural influence in the competition."

"Um, how?" said Kris.

"Maybe we ought to know exactly what we're talking about, here," Lil suggested. "I mean, are we talking werewolf or vampire or, or what?"

"I bet Adam's bitten a few necks in his time," said Matt. Adam glared at him. "What? You never ate anybody?" Adam kept staring, now with added speculation.

Maurice coughed. "One of you," he said, "is an elf."

Everyone looked at Kris.

"Hey! No!" Indignant little face, cute hair, wide eyes and maybe even a hint of pointiness about the ears... "I am not an elf! Stop that!" He batted at Allison, who was poking him between the shoulder-blades, possibly checking for wings.

"Okay," Danny said, though he did not sound convinced. "If it's not you, then who?"

There followed a brief but excitable period during which a number of speciesist comments were made and both Adam and Allison were required to reveal their ears for inspection.

"Look," said Adam, emerging somewhat ruffled from the throng, "does it actually matter? I mean, what are you gonna do? We have ten Idols on the tour, you're not going to throw someone out for being an elf!"

"Um. No," said Maurice. "It was just, the set list, we thought if... um."

"You mean, if I won by spreading magic pixie dust on the phone lines you can have Adam headlining," Kris said. "No, no, it's perfectly reasonable to suggest I cheated." He folded his arms and attempted to look menacing.

Lil put a comforting arm around his shoulders. "It's okay, honey. Nobody thinks you cheated."

"How can we tell?" Danny asked. "I mean, I don't know if there's a test for, uh, elfhood, I mean, what exactly are the signs, but—" He stopped, because Matt and Adam were laughing uncontrollably and clinging to one another, Megan and Kris were giggling and even Anoop was grinning. Everybody else was looking at him as though he had grown a second head, except Scott, who merely winced.

"You don't need a test," said Michael. "Look, I just wanted to be in the top ten, okay?"


"You—you're an elf?" said Adam.

"Yes." Michael folded his arms. He did not look like an elf.

"You don't look like an elf," said Danny.

"How do you know?" asked Scott, reasonably. "I mean, who knows what elves look like."

Danny spluttered.

"No, it's true, I don't exactly look like an elf," Michael admitted. "I had to adjust a bit so I could pass."

"So you really—" Danny began.

"Wait, wait," said Maurice. "You're telling me you are a supernatural creature."

"Hey! Less of the 'creature' talk," said Michael. "Sentient being here. We elves have been around a long time."

"Er. Sorry. But it's a little hard to believe."

"Maybe Danny should check his elfhood?" Matt suggested.

Danny hiccuped with surprise. "That's no good, I don't know what an elf's supposed to, I mean how do you—What?" he said, annoyed. Matt, Kris, Adam and Anoop waved helplessly from the floor. "He doesn't look like an elf!"

"I told you, I had to adjust," Michael said.

"So why did you choose to look like that?" said Danny, ignoring the wails from ground level. "I mean, why not look like Kris? Or Adam? Or someone, um..."

"And what's with the oil rig background?" Maurice interrupted, hastily. "It's just... it's incredible. It's unbelievable."

"That's why," Michael replied. "Everyone was ready to believe Kris was an elf, or Adam. Whereas me? You tell the world you got an elf on the Idol tour and it's the big roughneck from Texas, who's going to believe that?"

The room grew quiet as everyone contemplated the truth of this. Then Matt said "Elfhood!" and they laughed until they couldn't breathe.


And that is why Alexis Grace was not on the Idol 8 summer tour.



Back to Glambert Index
Back to main fanfic index